Larasati Silalahi

Here are the kinds of ‘LOOKS’ that I have been doing in the past months:

1. Look after – TIRING. I’m not a baby sitter, I’m not someone who wants to be caught ‘in the middle’. If anyone needs to get hold of my friends (whoever they are), I expect them to just go straight away to them, and not through me. We are all adults and I can’t be bothered to be involved.

2. Look around – TIRING. The more you rise, the more people will assume about your life. They think you have hidden agendas. They think you changed. They think you aren’t the person you once were. Suddenly ‘having a tummy ache’ means ‘you’re being arrogant’. Sometimes looking around is never enough. People will always expect you to do more. MORE and MORE until you realize that you have nothing left.

3. Look through – TIRING. You know how sometimes we (as human) try so hard to understand one’s heart and end up with NOTHING? The more you care, the more you will get hurt. Face it, there are some people who don’t want to be saved. The more you try to save them, the harder they push you away. Let me give you some tips; breathe in, breathe out, and leave.

4. Look out – TIRING. It’s always good to draw a line, and predict (plan) the future. But sometimes, we need to give some space for supernatural power to take place. A friend of mine ’slapped me on my face’ two days ago by saying the ultimate three words. “Get over it”, as if it will never happen. It may not happen, but it also may.

5. Look on – TIRING. To watch without getting involved. Don’t you feel useless when this thing happens?

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The good news is, a good friend came up with another kind of LOOK, which could be the solution to all of my problems.

LOOK UP (to the sovereign One).
This one surely brings sanity back in to my head (and heart).

Oh yeah, there is one more solution.

LOOK FORWARD (to 10-15 July 2008).
The ultimate break I’d been meaning to take. I’m just glad that I made the decision to go.